Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas?

Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas? "When you care enough to send the very best." Is the slogan for Hallmark Greeting Cards. The very best it wants us to send is a message that somehow tells us what to do, what to feel, how to act , what to say, and what to think about Christmas. At the center of it all is the home. Say it with me: There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays! The cards promote the expectations we should have for the holidays. Clark Griswald is a possible victim of the Hallmark Christmas mentality. We have the expectation that Christmas will be shared with loved ones, especially close loved ones--mom, dad, son, daughter, spouse, sisters and brothers. But for many of us, especially those who have lost loved ones this year, the reality will be painfully different. Christmas will not bring additional memories to cherish, only the renewed sense of loss. Seeing those Hallmark images only serve as sharp reminders of the loved ones who are not here any longer. Then there are those picture perfect Hallmark families, which say that our families too should that perfect. So like Clark,we have the expectation Christmas will be shared what that perfect family, a mom and a dad, 2.5 children, uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas. The reality is that divorce and strained relationships, long distances and cultural divides shatter the "perfect" family. The group with whom many gather will be smaller than the "ideal" and composed differently than expected. And when ours isn't the "perfect" family, we wondered whether we will have Christmas at all. Whether our family looks the part of a "perfect" family or not, we expect we will at least get along for one day. But as Clark painfully discovered, Eddie shows up. We all too often we do not act the idealized parts. We bring the pain of strained relationships home; we renew old conflicts; we play out old fights. Years ago all of my brothers of which there are three, got together for Christmas gathered around my mother who had been diagnosed which pancreatic cancer. After three days I began to realize why we all live in different parts of the country. Both unrealized and unrealistic expectations during this season can rob us of the joy that is available. Our families may not be the perfect size, or composition. Relationship may be strained, and old conflicts unresolved. But that does not have to spoil our Christmas. We can be grateful for the family we have left. We can take steps towards reconciliation, we can seek and we can offer forgiveness where ever and when ever possible. After all, Jesus was God's gift of love to the world we might want to gift a gift like that for Christmas.