The Inexplicable

"I've been crying all weekend," was one of the phrases I heard from one of our church's older members this past Sunday. What took place on Friday in Newton, Connecticut was a tragedy of epic proportions. Talk about the death of innocents; children mowed down by bullets fired by some stranger armed to the teeth; a young man who had no personal connection to any of the victims other than his mother taught at the school. But like most events of this nature the media feels obligated to invade sensitive private space and wring some kind of statement from the survivors and the families who have suffered the loss of their children, as if we really need to know what they are thinking and feeling. That they choose to say anything is a feat in and of itself. Such a loss as this renders even the most verbal among us, speechless. As if to make matters worse, others are using this incident to promote some other agenda, and I don't mean gun control. Some are seeing this as one more example of how far our country has fallen in its moral values. One politician went to far as to blame this tragedy as the result of the efforts to get God out of our schools, as if reading from the Bible that morning and saying prayers might have stopped a mentally ill person from entering the school intent to do his worst. This thinking is so theologically wrong on so many points it is not worth elaboration. Statements like these continue to give non-Christians a good excuse not to consider following Jesus. NO doubt over the next month or so a few brave souls may try to honestly make sense out of this incident. Someone will earnestly try to explain it or give some reason for it. Perhaps adequate treatment for the mentally ill will finds its way back into the public discourse. Perhaps the discussion of gun control particularly automatic weapons will be reopened. Years from now perhaps we will be able to look back and see that something good has come from this. However, we have no guarantees. We can't automatically assume that something good will come from something done for evil. So what is a good person of faith to say or do in the face of this tragedy? Nothing. Now is not the time to say something, our silence is the best compassion we can give. If we are called to do anything is is simply to join with God and weep with those who weep.

Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas?

Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas? "When you care enough to send the very best." Is the slogan for Hallmark Greeting Cards. The very best it wants us to send is a message that somehow tells us what to do, what to feel, how to act , what to say, and what to think about Christmas. At the center of it all is the home. Say it with me: There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays! The cards promote the expectations we should have for the holidays. Clark Griswald is a possible victim of the Hallmark Christmas mentality. We have the expectation that Christmas will be shared with loved ones, especially close loved ones--mom, dad, son, daughter, spouse, sisters and brothers. But for many of us, especially those who have lost loved ones this year, the reality will be painfully different. Christmas will not bring additional memories to cherish, only the renewed sense of loss. Seeing those Hallmark images only serve as sharp reminders of the loved ones who are not here any longer. Then there are those picture perfect Hallmark families, which say that our families too should that perfect. So like Clark,we have the expectation Christmas will be shared what that perfect family, a mom and a dad, 2.5 children, uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas. The reality is that divorce and strained relationships, long distances and cultural divides shatter the "perfect" family. The group with whom many gather will be smaller than the "ideal" and composed differently than expected. And when ours isn't the "perfect" family, we wondered whether we will have Christmas at all. Whether our family looks the part of a "perfect" family or not, we expect we will at least get along for one day. But as Clark painfully discovered, Eddie shows up. We all too often we do not act the idealized parts. We bring the pain of strained relationships home; we renew old conflicts; we play out old fights. Years ago all of my brothers of which there are three, got together for Christmas gathered around my mother who had been diagnosed which pancreatic cancer. After three days I began to realize why we all live in different parts of the country. Both unrealized and unrealistic expectations during this season can rob us of the joy that is available. Our families may not be the perfect size, or composition. Relationship may be strained, and old conflicts unresolved. But that does not have to spoil our Christmas. We can be grateful for the family we have left. We can take steps towards reconciliation, we can seek and we can offer forgiveness where ever and when ever possible. After all, Jesus was God's gift of love to the world we might want to gift a gift like that for Christmas.