Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas?

Is Hallmark Ruining Christmas? "When you care enough to send the very best." Is the slogan for Hallmark Greeting Cards. The very best it wants us to send is a message that somehow tells us what to do, what to feel, how to act , what to say, and what to think about Christmas. At the center of it all is the home. Say it with me: There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays! The cards promote the expectations we should have for the holidays. Clark Griswald is a possible victim of the Hallmark Christmas mentality. We have the expectation that Christmas will be shared with loved ones, especially close loved ones--mom, dad, son, daughter, spouse, sisters and brothers. But for many of us, especially those who have lost loved ones this year, the reality will be painfully different. Christmas will not bring additional memories to cherish, only the renewed sense of loss. Seeing those Hallmark images only serve as sharp reminders of the loved ones who are not here any longer. Then there are those picture perfect Hallmark families, which say that our families too should that perfect. So like Clark,we have the expectation Christmas will be shared what that perfect family, a mom and a dad, 2.5 children, uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas. The reality is that divorce and strained relationships, long distances and cultural divides shatter the "perfect" family. The group with whom many gather will be smaller than the "ideal" and composed differently than expected. And when ours isn't the "perfect" family, we wondered whether we will have Christmas at all. Whether our family looks the part of a "perfect" family or not, we expect we will at least get along for one day. But as Clark painfully discovered, Eddie shows up. We all too often we do not act the idealized parts. We bring the pain of strained relationships home; we renew old conflicts; we play out old fights. Years ago all of my brothers of which there are three, got together for Christmas gathered around my mother who had been diagnosed which pancreatic cancer. After three days I began to realize why we all live in different parts of the country. Both unrealized and unrealistic expectations during this season can rob us of the joy that is available. Our families may not be the perfect size, or composition. Relationship may be strained, and old conflicts unresolved. But that does not have to spoil our Christmas. We can be grateful for the family we have left. We can take steps towards reconciliation, we can seek and we can offer forgiveness where ever and when ever possible. After all, Jesus was God's gift of love to the world we might want to gift a gift like that for Christmas.

Where Do Good Stories Start?

Good Stories Start Here. Those were the words spread across a billboard that got my attention the other day. I am always up for a good story, and I long for my story to be one of those good ones. So I was intrigued by that phrase Good Stories Start Here...perhaps if I know the beginning of a good story, where it starts, then I might have a clue as to the how and where it will end. Good stories are not always predictable. What makes them entertaining is the uncertainty of knowing what will happen next. If the main character's actions become too predictable, then the story is boring. If too unpredictable, the story becomes unbelievable. And of course a good story is about the development of the character of its characters. Sort of an action adventure motif of movement towards maturity, at least that's what you would like to see and hear in a good story. Where do good stories start? According to the billboard ad, good stories start in a bottle of liquor, the brand not necessary name. Personally I don't know too many good stories that start with a bottle of liquor. Usually tragic stories begin here. With movies such as The Hangover, a liquor start to a story can be entertaining, but laughing at the misfortune of others isn't necessarily commendable. There is a secret wish throughout the movie that things will turn out well in the end in spite of this comedy of errors. Realistically, we know things usually go from bad to worse with no guarantee of improvement. Where do good stories really start? In the Gospel of Luke a "young man comes up to Jesus and asks, Good Teacher what must I do to inherit eternal life." And Jesus answered, Why do you call me Good, there is none good but God." It seems to me that good stories start with God and the tale God is trying to tell. That story begins well and ends well, but it is not too predictable nor always enjoyable in the middle. Our story connected with God's story, can be disappointing and painful. It can also be fruitful and positive. The one thing it doesn't have to be is boring. Hear any good stories lately?

Burning Bibles

Nothing incites masses more than burning sacred books. Burn some Bibles or even worse burn some copies of the Quran and you are likely to have a riot on your hands. As true believers we try to be mature and not make the Bible, God, or the Quran, God. Though the printed page reveals God to us we do not worship the book, but the one whom the book is about. To use the telescope analogy, the telescope helps us to see the stars, it is not a star. It is a means to an end. John Scotus Eriugena taught that God speaks to us through two books, one is the little book, the book of scripture, physically little. The other is the big book, the book of creation, vast as the universe. If God speaks to us through both texts, the words of scripture and the elements of creation, and we get upset when scripture is burned, then why do we not get upset when creation is destroyed? Think of the words of God that are lost when hazardous chemicals are poured into a river, or pollutants pumped into the sky? How many opportunities to hear God's voice are missed when a species disappears? I know Reformed Theology tends to dismiss general revelation in favor of special revelation. However, it is general revelation that is quoted first to prove the existence of God. Creation is the something that exists rather than nothing, and God we say, is the reason why. It is through creation that we get our first glimpse of wonder, and sense of awe and Majesty. What would happened if we venerated the book of creation as much as the the book of scripture?

Theology Matters?

I get a publication almost every month called Theology Matters. It is a well thought out and well written publication. But does Theology matter? Having two advanced degrees my knee jerk response is OF COURSE THEOLOGY MATTERS. How and what we think about God shapes our lives, or at least that's the dominant thinking. What often troubles me is the disconnect between right thinking about God and right living, coupled with the tendency to twist and turn what we think about God to justify what we are already doing. Then there's the whole disconnect between what we think about God and reality. Theodicy is just one of those issues. How many times have we writhed under the Good God, good people, bad stuff question? How many times have we thrown out words like permitted, allowed, but not first cause. We even had a book called The Shack that creatively wrestled with the question. I know it is a real question, because I have a person in a study group I lead that asks the question regarding God's goodness, and sovereignty in the accidental death of his daughter. Theology might matter if it were able to answer that question adequately, but alas it hasn't, at least adequately. Some of the answers it gives, reduces God into some uncaring cruel person, or a powerless deity. Neither one of those is a viable option to me or to most people. Would I deal better with those kinds of losses if I had a better answer- theologically speaking? The sad part is probably not. The pain would be just as real and deep. The why question if answered in those type of situations rarely gets heard. There is always an accusing finger pointed God's way regardless- either as the direct cause- "it must have been God's will," or indirectly by inaction- the old could have done something to stop it it, but didn't response. No matter how you roll it, it keeps coming up - at least emotionally as God's fault. This is a God sins by commission and omission argument... On a more positive note, it seems theology does not matter that much to God. We think right theology is necessary for a person to enter into a relationship with God, and for God to enter into a relationship with them. The truth is that a whole lot of people have entered into and enjoy a relationship with God regardless of how right or wrong their theology is. God seems to love people and God allows himself to be loved by people regardless of the correctness or incorrectness of their theology. If this is indeed true of God, it should if nothing else, get us to turn down the volume in theology discussions and enable us to live better together. Theology does matter, but not nearly as much as we may think it does.

In Favor of Big Tents

I heard someone say the other day that the Presbyterian Church, USA, the denomination in which I have hung my hat for close to thirty four years, has been a big tent for a long time. The statement was made in reference to a number of pastors and congregations who are leaving the denomination and finding another tent to be under. They are leaving because they are unhappy with some of the people and positions of those in the big tent. In their view, the tent is too big. It contains too many different views and perspectives and priorities. So they want a smaller tent with less belief options and a stronger gate to keep some uninvited and unwelcome guests away. Tucked underneath the departure to smaller tents is the subtext of church growth and success. Everyone wants to talk about how many members the denomination has lost over the years, and they point to the big tent as the reason, or at least some of the folks under the big tent as spurring the departure. The thinking is that if the big tent were smaller, congregations stand a better chance of growth as well a the denomination as a whole.I find it interesting that folks will point to diversity as the reason for the denomination's decline, but when asked if it is the denominations differing positions that have caused their congregation's decline, they remain silent. Perhaps changing theological positions within the denomination have caused some sheep to go to a different fold, but it does not account for the membership losses in most congregations. There are a lot of reasons people either move on or out of the church. The key to church growth is not found in becoming the bastion of conservative/fundamentalist/evangelical brand of Christianity. Not every nonchurched, unchurched or dechurched person is looking for a conservative/fundamentalist/evangelical congregation. They are however looking for an authentic one. It may have one label or another, but the key to growth is the authentic acceptance and expressed love of those not yet under the tent. This authentic love and acceptance allows for multiple entry points, from worship services to small groups to mission efforts. In the end, this authentic love and acceptance by its nature, creates bigger and bigger tents, not smaller ones. That's why I firmly believe the bigger the tent, the better.

Style vs. Substance

When I first started using a screen and power point in worship, I was criticized for more about style than substance. Since I am more inclined towards both and vs. either or, I do not like pitting one against the other especially as it relates to worship. I would like to think that in a worship service, style and substance would work hand in hand in order to empower worshipers to encounter the fullness of God. However, after being in the ministry for over 33 years, the word pipe dream is more of a reality. It seems to me that worship is more about style than substance. We categorize worship services according to style or styles. There are the traditional vs. contemporary, the complex liturgy vs. simple liturgy, the choir and organ driven style vs. the band driven style, not to mention those who attempt to combine various styles into at least a style for a particular service. Add all of this to different time slots and the market now drives service attendance, according to of course the style being offered in a particular time slot. It all sounds more like efforts to increase network TV ratings rather than doing or being church.

Style trumps substance. If you do not believe me, change or mix various styles in a worship service and see what happens. If the word appreciation comes to mind, think again. People with long histories of service and sacrifice in a congregation will walk out the door if the so called style changes. Suddenly they feel out of place, or ignored, or even abused as one person told me. I can think of a lot more significant, painful, and life altering ways abuse can happen at church. Perhaps the church needs to have support groups for members who have been abused by hymn singing and organ playing or those who have been abused by praise and worship songs and guitars and drums.

I would like to think that worship is about more than notes on a page, and what instrument is used to accompany those notes. Once more I am mistaken. Worship is all about personal style or preferences. Do not attempt to bring what God may want or where scripture speaks into the discussion. Ultimately it all comes down to what I like, or what I do not like to hear or say or do, what makes me comfortable, and reinforces my preconceptions of God and the church. It is a shame that 1Corinthians still falls on so many deaf ears. The segmentation of the church into stylistic categories or camps complete with subcategories seems so normative that no one questions it. All of this of course is done in the exalted name of targeting population segments, and style preferences for evangelistic or missional or church growth efforts.

Jesus once promised that where ever two or more are gathered in his name that he would be there. If all who are gathered together prefer the same style of worship,(usually musically based upon age considerations) doesn't that mean that only one aspect of Jesus shows up, the one that fits in our preferences, our age group, and our musical taste? I would like to think that encountering Jesus in the diversity of people and styles would be the healthiest for me, but I hear they have a really great worship band at the church down the street. I think I'll go there and check'em out.

Enough

Enough, what an interesting word. An online dictionary defines enough as sufficient to meet a need or satisfy a desire; as well as adequate. So when we attach a noun in front like old as in old enough, I guess we are saying that there is a sufficient or adequate amount of time or age passed or experience gained so that something else might take place; such as driving a car, or getting married, or vote, or consume alcohol. The fundamental flaw in this thinking is equating age and experience with maturity. We hope that we mature with age, and with age we get wiser and make better and smarter decisions. We also hope that we do grow wiser as we grow older, but I am not convinced that is the case. Psychologists will tell us that from a developmental standpoint, we do have the capacity to grow wiser with age. However I believe maturity is not automatic. The Bible does not talk about spiritual maturity being automatic-Paul talks about in all things growing up into him who is the head..Ephesians 4:15 and Peter talks about "growing up in your salvation." 1Peter 2:2

We often speak of life events particularly those which are dramatic or critical as real growth experiences. The death of a significant other can be such an event. The loss of a job, may be another. The birth of children still another. The collapse of a long marriage, still another. Any major event in our life can be a life changing growth moment. I was painfully reminded of the Israelites in the desert. They had gone through some very significant life changing events and yet they remained fundamentally flawed, unchanged, and continued making some very poor choices when they, "should have known better by now."

It seems old habits, old lifestyles, and old values are hard to break. A move towards maturity is a decision. It is a refusal to put our life on autopilot during those critical moments, and choosing to take a different path, and head in a new direction. This entails at least knowing there is an alternative, and that the alternative is a better path than the current road. Fortunately for us as followers of Jesus we aren't left without some resources. Here is where the scripture is helpful. Jesus casts a vision of the Kingdom of God and the ways of the kingdom for his followers. The Apostle Paul in Galatians list the fruit of the spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. The good news is that at any life point we can choose how we will respond that will either foster the growth of a particular fruit of the Spirit, or exhibit some way of the kingdom, or not.

The good news is that God will help us grow up into Him who is the head and God will help us grow up into our salvation. If we decide to...